


Shokaari

by comavampure



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal Transformation, Experimental Style, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, Other, Qunari, Qunari Culture and Customs, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:04:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7662385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comavampure/pseuds/comavampure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Great Horned Lions, cousins to the Great Lions, are indigenous to the lands of Par Vollen.  They are considered fierce animals for their ability to blend in with their surrounding environment, for their endurance and how they hunt and kill.  They are often times domesticated and used as companion warriors for soldiers of high value by the Qunari to lessen the effects of Asala-taar.  They bond with the soldier and often die in service to the Qun.</p><p>Shokaari was <i>not</i> a great horned lion despite being reborn as one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In death there is balance.  
> In birth there is chaos.  
> But I remember.

**In death there is balance.**

I was burning and screaming, the world aflame with my cries; hot molten metal encasing me in a fiery tomb.

I could not breathe.

There was nothing I could do so I cried, I screamed, I called out for help but the more I did the more smoke I inhaled.

I could not breathe.

Fists banged against the melting glass only for it to come away in strings, skin bubbling up from the contact turning red.  

I could not breathe.

I blistered as I sizzled and popped, I began to burn.  My skin turning black and cracking open, flaking in ashy flecks.

I could not breathe.

My reflection distorted as my face bubbled and boiled and dried, forcing dehydration. My hair burnt off first, my eyelids my lips.  My teeth exposed. My eyeballs boiled with the temperature rise and popped a reddish pus that dried and caked onto my exposed skeleton.

I tried to call for help but I I -  I could - I could not- breathe.

 

 

**In birth there is chaos.**

I was enveloped in warmth and wet, and it was dark.  I was not scared. There were others near me, wriggling, warm, bodies, like my own.  

Something snapped, and broke and the water was rushing and pouring out and then it was gone.  Cold crawling into our comfort, seeping into us and and dragging us out.  I did not want to leave but I had no other choice.  The others wriggled out before me.  They _wanted_ to leave. Their cries meeting the world beyond the warmth and wet and I tried to stay behind.  I did not want the cold.  

I could remember the dry cracking heat and yet, I wanted this warmth like no other. It was familiar and homely. I was safe here.  

Out there, I did not know what I would smell. Out there, I did not know what I would feel.  Out there, I did not know what I would see. Out there, I did not know if I would be safe.

The walls convulsed around me and pushed me out.  Flushed out of my warm cavern, I had no strength to withstand it and I fell in a heap with the others.  

My mewling cries mirrored the wriggling bodies around me.  They were soft and just as wet and cold as I.  I was hungry and angry.  I did not like this cold.  I did not like this wet.  I did not like this unknown.  I could not see but I could feel and smell.

A rough dry tongue raked across my… my fur.  I had fur?  

The tongue licked me and my…my siblings?  They smelled like me. Were they my siblings?  

The tongue continued to lick and clean the wet off of me and my siblings.  Yes...that is what they were; for we were born together as a _litter_.

 

* * *

 

**I remember**

I remember my birth as surely as I remember my death.  

Before my death, I did everything on two legs.  I stood up on two legs.  I walked on two legs. I ran on two legs. I did so many things on just two legs.  

I was very good at running.  I was not very fast but I did not tire easy. The other beings and creatures around me however were fast but tired easily.  They ran on four legs, like the me after my birth. They could run at speeds my two legged self would dream of but I could go on for much longer than them.

They could climb things that my two legged self could not because of their four legs. I could not climb trees with just two legs.  I could not climb cliffs and mountains and steep hills on two legs.  I did try but I fell.

I had these odd front legs that were not legs for they did not touch the ground. Unless I fell in which they helped me to become upright again; my back shooting straight up to the sky above and my two ground legs bent until I stood upright again.  I could do things with these front legs that other creatures could not.  I think they were were called arms.

They had paws that were not paws, called hands.  Hands that had nub like things that could bend and grip things.  Things like branches, and rocks, and tools.  I could hold tools and turn them like no paw could. I could eat with these hands, tearing at the food with the nub like things and then chewing them or holding the food up to my mouth and eating them. Paws cannot grip things and hold things like hands could.  

I cannot imagine holding things with anything other than my two front paws and teeth now.  It is such a foreign concept but I remember doing it with no thought.  It was normal to me in the time before my death.

There are many things I wish to hold but how could I?  I do not have two front legs that are not like my ground legs.  I have four legs that propel me at speeds that the being that I was before my death would be envious of;  I have teeth that are sharper and allow me to kill my prey that becomes my food, tearing at the flesh of my kills. The being that I was before would be scared.  The being that I was before my death did not hunt and did not kill.  

I know. I know.  If they did not hunt and did not kill, how did they eat? The being that I was before my death _purchased_ their food from other beings like it.  They would warm the cold meat in fire for much too long.  The meat burning and turning bad.  The being that I was before liked to eat this but I think back on it and I do not like it.  I do not like the smell I remember. I do not like the feel of the flesh breaking apart before I can tear at it.  I cannot eat that now.  My food is fresh from the hunt and I eat it as I kill it.

There are many things from the time before my death I remember but as time goes, I forget. I try to cling to these memories but it is hard.   

I try to remember the hands.  

I try to remember the two legs.

I try to remember holding tools and purchasing things.  

I try to remember how i communicated with other beings.  I could talk with words and not with growls, hisses, purrs, roars, nuzzling, head-butting, and kneading. But the words I used... I remember them.  I cannot pronounce them anymore, but I remember.

I remember.

I am not the same as what I was.

I remember my death as surely I remember my birth.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an audio format for these but I'm unsure if I should have it as embedded audio or just link to my tumblr page with the audio files. Or if I should even use the audio. Don't know.


	2. Chapter 2

"Bao." The sound reached my ears as they twitched to attention but I was hidden - hiding underneath the grass and growth of the wet forest floor.  My too small body slick and tiny enough to sneak around in areas the other young kits - my siblings - could not. My unusual fur coating, dark and black, made it hard for them to spot me in the shadows.  The faint stripes that were just a tad lighter helped me blend in better than them.

My first siblings - littermates - were Maola, Ruan, and Nyoa. There had been four others but they did not make it.  For a while Momao, our mother, did not believe I would make it.  I was too small and required nursing for almost a year.  Had it not been for her becoming heavy with a new litter again, she would have put me out of my mewling misery and swallowed me whole. Especially as my siblings grew and matured; their bodies stretching long, hardening tough, twisting into sinewy muscle ready to pounce and hard dark horns growing to sharpened points.  They were quick to learn to run, explore, and fight and most importantly hunt.

I could not do that.  I was small, tiny and barely larger than a newborn kit. I had only just learned to walk, my short legs carrying me across the underbrush in small leaps and bounds before I tired and needed feeding, but I would not stay behind.  Momao, powered by the flooding of hormones and her maternal instincts just took me as one of her new kits and kept feeding me, keeping me near.  But there was a tenseness in the way she retrieved me, like there was something wrong with me, with the way I grew or rather… did not grow.

My large eyes watched as she stalked through the heavy blades of grass and trees, sniffing at the air, whiskers forward as she scanned the ground searching for me by sight and scent.  I heard her huff and snort, her quickened pace agitated as she stepped away.  She did not stray too far from the cave where my new smaller siblings rested.  

I slipped out with a high pitched roar and went to tackle her paw, but Momao picked me up.  The first time I had been aware she would carry me in her mouth, I was frightened.  Too afraid and aware of her large teeth, pointed as they protruded over her jaw and down, and yet she grabbed the scruff of my neck gently without tearing my flesh.

I spent most days like this.  Drinking the milk of Momao and snuggling next to my kin - siblings.  It was hard at first, accepting this new life, especially as I so greatly remembered my old one. But I had been reborn.  I was sure of it.  I do not know what foul thing I did to be reborn so _wrong_.

I was born wrong even for what I was, of which I had no name.  I had an idea of what Momao was and my kin. Large horned jungle cats seemed to adequately describe what I was or would be.  I was still too tiny and frail.  One year and my littermates had already matured.  They were getting old enough to go off on their own, live free and find their own territories and start their own litters.  Whatever they were, whatever I was... we were solitary creatures, only staying with our mothers long enough to gain independence and learn all that we could meeting only for the sake of reproduction.

"Bao." The rough dry tongue licked my face as I did not drink from the nipple of our mother.  She rumbled, the purr prompting my hunger and then nuzzled me closer. But I made sure the others had their fill first.

I was the one that was wrong, I did not deserve first drink despite knowing I could easily out maneuver them and have more than my fill.  Momao could sense this, sense my inexplicable kindness - weakness.  She growled low as her gold eyed gaze stared at me.  I stared back, her dirt covered nose bumping into my fresh clean pink one. Her mouth opened, wide, gleaming teeth pointed and she took me in her mouth again, the threat evident as she pressed her teeth against my young fur covered flesh, hard enough to hurt.  She could eat me because she was bigger - stronger - than me. She growled and shook her mouth and I mewled in terror and she let me go.  I dropped to the floor on my feet.

A life lesson, even I could tell that is what she was saying. She would eat me, if she had to, if I did not get stronger or bigger. I do not know why she did not simply eat me then but I pushed the strongest of the litter out of the way and drank.

 

* * *

 

 

Momao never did eat me, even when the last of the most recent litter left the cave.  Only two of the six that had been born.  A large bulbous snake had gotten into our cave one night.  I had been too small for it to reach and only the youngest and smallest of the litter had been able to follow me into my hiding spot deep below a tree. My mews sharp and commanding, directing their scared shivering forms.  Our short legs barely able to move fast enough yet the largest could not fit through the whole.  Even I had been too large until i twisted and turned, scraping my flesh as we huddled there behind a cage of tree roots.

Momao had returned as the snake swallowed the others whole.  They were small enough for him but too large to allow him to escape the wrath of our mother. She fought the snake, snarling teeth and slashing with all four of her paws.  But the kits were long dead, paralyzed by the venom and unable to breath once swallowed.

Momao gave a growling cry, each sound meant the names of the kits with me.  “Krii!! Rua!” The two kittens gave cries in return. I did not respond for my meow-name had not been called.

It wasn’t until Momao sniffed and licked the two kits did she peer into the hole they had climbed out of. “Bao…”  She sounded low and dangerous. A gratitude and kindness shone in her eyes, something I had never seen. I climbed out but she did not lick me, did not offer me comfort but something shifted that day. I do not know what but it did.

 

* * *

 

The cave was not safe anymore after the snake. But we did not leave it. Not yet.   The other kits grew older, I was left in charge, meant to ensure the kits that remained were safe. They followed after me as I explored the small clearing as Momao hunted.  They avoided the plants I had learned to avoid and they became inquisitive like me. For while they had been snuggling and wriggling, I had learned I still retained knowledge of the life before, certain skills.

I remembered how to count.  I remembered shapes. I stared at plants and traced them with my eyes.  Triangle, circle, square.  The words were not foreign to my mind but I could not say them.  They were more ideas than a fixed language. Images and feelings in my head.  I counted, I added and subtracted.  

The kits grew older and wiser at my lead.  Plants I recognized as poisonous were avoided and plants that offered a sweet tasting root and heavy plump berries were their rewards. Except the blue ones with the shiny leaves, those I knew were poison.

When it came time for them to leave, I was still not yet matured but I was wiser.  I could remember things. It was hazy, like a dream, like the dreams I had every night.  I longed for those memories.  Faint sensations of walking on two legs, speaking a tongue I could not replicate anymore.  Ideas, thoughts, language, bonding with other two legged creatures.

My dreams kept me from forgetting but time was a cruel mistress, especially to me. Memories would fade and while I tried to retain, only things I used often would remain and things that I practiced and made use of.  Knowledge of the forest, numbers, and shapes, angles, and the passage of time itself.

Yet, time would not just stop at snatching memories of my past life from me, it would also rob me of Momao.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly have no idea where I'm going with this. Short chapters for now because writing out each year Bao grows would get tedious. So I'm making leaps and bounds on the passage of time so we can get to Par Vollen already. 
> 
> Also my writing process of this makes me think of Warrior Cats even though I've never read any of them? I dunno...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silenced Momao.  
> Bao becomes Lok.

Smoke filled the cave, the heat of distant fires laced panic through me. Momao was still asleep but I woke to this terror and I remembered my death. Fire and the agony of burning and then - I was born again. Was this my punishment? To die by fire and reborn weaker and weaker. To grow and not grow, to succumb to suffocation and smoke inhalation?

I mewed in terror, bumping against Momao until she woke. Her gold eyes widened, slits thinning and she backed up further into the cave, away from the entrance in fear.

That would only lead to her death. I mewed, trying to get her to follow me out out of the cave but her fur puffed and claws scraped against the floor. No no this was wrong, she had to follow me!

I had only ever mewled in small short bursts, roared in high pitched squeaks but I needed Momao to follow me, to pay attention to me. I knew, not from learning here in this world and life, but from before. I knew how to survive this, if we could only just get out.

"Mreomao!" Lowering my body to the ground, I took in what little there was left of fresher air and bound toward Momao and meow low and high, rubbing my face against her until she followed me. I made sure my tails were right by her nose so she could follow my scent and we crawled slowly while hunched down.

Once out there was more fresh air but the trees were burning and falling. We had to run, get to water and far from the fire.

I knew there was a river nearby but I had only ever ventured that way when my siblings were with us and only ever on their backs.

I stared at Momao, who hovered over me, protecting me from the fires. Our gazes locked and I meowed loud again, hacking at the smoke that worked its way in. I took off toward the river, slow enough for her to follow. She knew where we were heading and scooped me into her mouth and bound faster and faster out of the forest and away from the cave we knew as home.

We splashed into the water. I fell from her mouth. Sinking into the depths. They were shallow for Momao, but to me they were deep. I struggled to remain afloat as the river pushed us further and further downstream, further than we had ever explored and further than Momao's territory. Teeth dug into my flesh as the river slowed and we both collapsed onto a rocky shore.

Momao hacked and coughed, spittle black from the smoke. I shivered from the cold depths of the river and peered back where the plumes of smoke rose high into the morning sky.

We sat and watched as the forest burned and burned for hours. Senses high every time other creatures and animals came bounding out of the water or across the river, fleeing the destruction. Momao caught a weakened deer like animal that we ate, it's dying honks made my ears twitch and fold back.

The fires continued well into the night but did not breach past the river. Momao grabbed me in her mouth, her aged panting breath sounded ever more haggard as she found a tree and leapt up it until she settled for a spot. Neither of us slept much that night.

 

The next morn Momao woke with a cough with more black spittle. The way her fur hugged her was tight and distraught, the grey streaks ever more pronounced as we carefully made our way through this new territory. She sniffed at trees where the scents of others of our kind lingered. Her claws leaving deep scratches as she went.

I tried to emulate her, sniffing and rubbing my body along the trees and even scratching at them but the scent I left was different than Momao's. It did not smell as scary or as threatening as Momao's, in fact it smelled inviting.

Our travel found us at a cliff, allowing us to look down into the valley, an expansive jungle dotted with strange structures and clusters of what looked like stone but it was darker with contrasting bright whiteness and small figures moved but I could not discern much from them. Past the strange clusters was a shore with a large body of water I could see no end to, no other coast just...water.

Momao paced back and forth on the cliff, hacking and coughing. Her tails twitched wildly. My own tails lay languid and unbothered. I do not know what she was upset by but I peered, curious as ever as she led us to another spot for us to rest, safely. No hunting, I could tell she was very tired.

It continued like this for several days. Each day she moved less and less. When it become too difficult for her to move, I began hunting. I brought birds that did not sense me and smaller mammals that thought I could not find a way into their burrows. Eventually I hunted all the mammals in our immediate area but every day I ate my fill but Momao did not. She was skinny, too skinny and she weakened and lay still for long stretches of time. Her once bright gold eyes were fading.

Water pricked at my eyes the day I woke and she did not breath. Our kind did not cry with tears. We cried with our roars and meows, yet why then, did tears wet my fur?

I did not abandon her until the smell began attracting the birds that swooped low to peck at her decayed flesh.

My siblings all gone. I had no Momao. I was alone.

 

* * *

 

The forest was big wider and infinitely more dangerous as I traversed through it, carefully. I was aware of every scent that surrounded me. I did not leave marks or scratch at the trees or rub against them. I dug holes to hide my excrement, anything to avoid inviting other predators.

Eventually though I had to do something when pricks itched at my head. Something deep and painful burst through and I wanted to scratch and rub it. I had no choice but to rub my head against the trees like I so often saw my siblings do when their horns came in.

It was agony because I could remember the sweet relief of being able to scratch and scritch with nub like paws and sharp talons. They were flexible and the memory of the relief had me crying and grunting as I found anything to rub my head against.

Unfortunately, I also left my scent behind. My inviting scent that drew other creatures near. At first it was smaller creatures, ones I hunted and killed but then the predators came and they leered down, sniffing the ground trying to find me as I cowered in darkened holes.

I had no names for these predators but their teeth gleamed, their leathery flesh was an array of color as they swooped, six legs bounding in powerful strides. They circled the area before marking the tree I had rubbed against and then left. I had to refrain from rubbing my horns.

 

I came upon a stream one night, looking for a place to sleep.  I did not feel safe enough to mark territory, nor did I believe I could defend myself if others invaded my territory as they were likely to with my _wrong_ scent. I found a nook between two stones and curled in.  The wet mud was cold but the stone would be exposed to the morning sky and I would wake warm.  I fell asleep staring at the two mooned sky.

I awoke to chittering sounds. Yowls and tones that produced hiss like sounds and gurgling, sharp edges and then something pounding hard on the floor.  Not fast but fast enough I stiffened in my little hole. I sniffed the air.  It was tangy and keen and left me reminded of the pink like things Momao used to hunt. Their spilled blood tasty and warm.  They were like pink soft boars, but their ears flopped and their paws were odd and thin like the nub like things from before my birth.

I was hungry.  It was time to hunt.  My tongue was wet, teeth ached as I imagined sinking my growing teeth into the succulent flesh.  I crawled out steady and quiet, the sound of water splashing had me slow but I peeked out.

They were not pink boars.  They were two legged beings!  Two legged _horned_ beings. Larger than me and tall.  They had nub like things for paws and were running through the stream.  I watched, frozen as water splashed and the tones from their flapping flatfaced muzzles made my head and chest hurt.

I watched them as they continued.  It looked like they were _playing._ The reverberating mewls from their jaws sounded happy.  Their soft pinkish lips stretched wide and growing teeth flashing and red-red tongues behind them.  Their ears were misshapen, angled and pivoted and pointed and their horns were all different, growing backwards for some, others curling, and some growing straight up.  

One of them made a high pitched shriek, my ears bent back, frightened.  I turned to dart back into my safe haven to hide.

A shadow fell over me as one of these _two legged_ things had been sneaking on me and yet I hadn’t sensed them.  It’s nub like paws grabbed me and I squirmed, yowling.  Claws digging into their flesh, but they held me at the scruff of my neck. I couldn’t scratch or bite at the hand that held my neck.  I mewled and yowled.  They were so much bigger than me and the one who held me had horns growing sideways and out with a small spike at the end.  They were rounded and soft.   _My_ horns were sharp.  

“ _One who thinks, what have you there?_ ”

There was a deeper and lower pitched tone and the thing that held me turned.  I stiffened, my fur on end and puffed out.  This one was much much larger.  I yowled and meowed, trying to get loose but the grip somehow became tighter as it hefted me up closer to the taller two legged being, their horns sharpened and body furless but sinewy with muscles.

My instincts drove me to try and run. I did not understand the sounds flapping from their mouths, their bodies however I understand and while they did not seem threatening they were bigger and could eat me.

“ _Pitiful simple thing. Come, one who thinks, let us wash it.”_

All too quickly I was handed off to the larger one and was carried to the stream. A sweet sharp tangy smell made the water bubble and they dunked me in.  I yowled and complained.  I did not want to be here.  Let me go!

A sudsy slippery thing on my now wet fur.  The water streamed away dirt filled and brown. I resigned myself to what they were doing, something ticking the back of my memory.  I knew what this was, this sudsy bubbling substance. It was familiar and not.  It brought memories of relief and calming but here I was scared as the cold water had me shivering.

“ _Can we keep it Tama?”_ The smaller one toned above me.

The deeper toned one sighed as it's nubs rubbed the water into my fur.

“ _Only if it can be taught its purpose and place within the Qun._ ” The larger one then rubbed it’s flapping pelt that hung off it's waist, drying me.  I missed the warm dry tongue of Momao but stilled as the thing absorbed water and the big one covered me in a warm pelt, handing me off to the smaller one.

“ _How do we know it’s place?_ ” The small one rubbed a nub under my jaw and I sunk my teeth into it's grey furless nubby paw and it yelped, pulling back.  I glared and glowered, wanting to lick my fur to dry myself.

“ _It will teach responsibility and offer care and comfort, but for now it can be a friend._ ”

“Lok?”

 _“Yes. Good, one who thinks.  Come let us get the others. It is almost midday meal._ ” The larger one walked away leaving me in the tight clutches of the smaller one that cooed and made high pitched sounds as its legs carried it.  I squirmed, wanting loose but it held fast.  The familiar tall trees gave way to structures, square and rectangles, triangles and circles.  The smell of smoke had me stiff but it was far and mixed with the smell of sweat.

It left my nose affronted and I wanted to run.

“ _You are_ Lok _for now_ . _Our kith will be delighted but first we must get you fed. You must be hungry._ ” The young being chattered and chittered excitedly as I dried, shivering and curling into the pelt, trying to lick myself.

For a long time it spoke in soft tones and then high pitched ones. It’s nubs continued seeking out my fur, rubbing until it came to my horns and it rubbed.  Dulled claws scratched and I shivered and purred but it’s nubs moved and I reached a paw stopping it.

“ _You like that? Yes I like the same. It itches so much and yours are still growing._ ” It scratched around the base of my horns. I shivered, pleased.

Sweet relief.

It was not so bad if it can scratch me there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Italics is Bao unable to understand, but I put it in to give you guys some dialogue. It's in italics because it's supposed to be in Qunlat.


	4. Chapter 4

The community appeared domed on the outside with hard grey rocky branches, dark winding trees, branches, and vines were woven through, connecting and strengthening the whole thing. There were other two legged beings like the one who held me, many of them.  In droves and crowds they walked, speaking with flashing sharp and flat teeth, flapping lips, and wagging pink tongues; with eyes on white and eyes on black made bright and vivid with pupils of gold, grey, red, brown, black, purple, so many colours and shades and mixes. Their skin as grey as the stone, as dark as the smoke, or as gold as the sun with hair as white as clouds or as bright as the evening sky.  Their locks stretched as long as the ocean with bright colored beads twirled into braids, smelling rich and heady with oils. There were some who were smaller, tiny and pinker with bright large eyes and bright flesh. They looked sickly to me.  

These beings were all different and yet they treated each other the same.  None lorded over the others, they all had purpose in their stride. Even the small one that held me.  The other small beings in front of it would look at the taller one leading the group.  

It’s claws scratched at the base of my horns, my responding purr pleased it as it yapped with the other small ones.

 _“This is the place we are sorted,”_ It spoke to me now. I did not know what it’s sounds meant as it pointed up to a structure, tall and circular, with many holes on the side and things flapping in the wind.

I smelled meat and sweat and _fire_ . I shivered and curled up, claws scratching at it’s arms, trying to get it to let me go. It said the words again and pointed as we entered the building. “ _Imedaari_.”

The tall one directed the young ones to tables where leafy white sheaves and black sticks. The one that held me was directed elsewhere, to a room with many large colorful lumps of things and thin colorful pelts across the floor. It took me to a corner with a deep box and placed me inside it.

“ _Sleep now. I will fetch you nourishment._ ” It chittered as a thin but soft pelt was placed in with me and a soft vibrant red lump as well. It slotted something on top, trapping me in the box.

I meowed and yowled, ignoring the items and trying to get out, trying to jump.  My whiskers could sense no way out for my body. I circled around on top of the soft lump and pelt. Time stretched until I plopped down, curling up beneath the pelt. It was very soft and nice against my fur.

I watched in the dark, waiting.

The pelt retained the warmth of my heat.

I wanted out.

I laid down, a deep complaining growl in the back of my throat. My back claws extended as I prepped myself to launch up.

The pelt bundled underneath me with each push back, my weight adjusting. But then it flopped over me. I jolted away and hit the side of the box. It’s softness covered me.

I tried to get out from under it but my claws became stuck. I yowled out loud.

“ _You complain so much. Do not worry, you will learn._ ” The pelt was pulled back and the scent of dead flesh greeted me. It was tantalizing as It held the fish above the box.  I leapt for it but it chuckled. “ _You must earn it._ ”

I hissed and reached for the fish. It’s other nub like paw grabbed the scruff of my neck and I stilled. The box swam underneath me, the pelt and lump lost in the darkness as I was raised high and up.  It set me down on the floor. It did not let go of my neck but settled down as well. It’s legs stretched on either side of me.

It held its hand over me, keeping me still.

“ _Sit_.” It said and it pushed my rear, tails and all, down. It held out the fish just out of reach. I wiggled and lunged forward for the fish but it’s hands kept me still. “ _No._ ” It held the fish overhead and I tracked it, hunger panging along my body.

I tried to lunge for it again and again, and everytime, it prevented me. Yowling, I flopped down to my side and clawed at it’s nub like paws. It sighed.

“Lok _."_ It held me firmly by the scruff of my neck and had me stand but I wiggled and flopped, clawing at it’s paws and tiny thin claws. “ _No… Lok. Sit._ ” It sighed and gave a frustrated defeated sound. I lunged for the fish as its fingers sagged.  

“ _Haha, One who thinks._ ” The booming sound of a tall being with curved horns came.  Its voice was lower and graveled, his mouth hidden in a bush of snarling fur. This one was bigger and wider with bulging sinewy muscles.  Its stride thumped and thumped as it approached.

In the smaller one’s distraction, I lunged and sunk my teeth into the fish, dragging it and holding it as I ate.

“ _Hey! Lok no!_ ” The small one yelped loud.  My ears tucked back and I snarled as it tried to grab the fish back.

“ _One who thinks, you must be patient when training._ ” The big one said as it approached and crouched. I shrunk away, crowded by it’s presence.  The small one’s hands so lax I wiggled free and darted to search a way out but larger nubs gripped me by my body.  I yowled and twisted, the fish fell as I bit the paw that fed.

“ _But it won’t sit!?_ ”

“ _You must let the thing become used to your presence."_

I fought the one that shifted me between it’s large nubs.  Its skin was hard and my sharp-sharp teeth did little to puncture through it. Not like with the smaller one who had raised pinkish skin where I had bit and scratched.

I gave a deep growling warning and they let me go but the entrance the larger one had come through once i darted around it was gone. I skittered across the room, searching and seeking.

“ _It is scared and wild. Let it become used to this room and then you."_

I found refuge in the shadow of something, the structure covered me but it was high enough off the ground they could reach their nubby paws in.

“ _Wait!_ ” The smaller one gave a cry and rose, thumping toward where I hid.  I yowled, seeking for another dark shadowed area to hide but it stopped.

“ _No, one who thinks. Let it be. It is scared._ ”

For a while there was no sound and then their legs moved out.  The entrance they came from opened but I was too fearful to dart that way. It closed shortly after. I huffed and shivered, remaining in the shadows.

For a long time there was no sound. With all muster of my learnings I crawled out, darting to the still fallen fish and scooped it up. I retreated to my hiding spot and ate.

Much time passed and no one came. Light was filtered into the room from large holes in the structure. I carefully walked out, staring at the entrance and the swinging panel that was closed. A memory tickled the back of my mind. _Door._ I knew that word, knew the concept.

I made my way across the room toward the large square holes and stared up. I tried to jump but fell back when I hit something in my way. I gave a shake of my head and tried again. It was still there.

I hissed up at it. There was something there but I could not see it! It prevented me from getting out. _Window._ A memory of some sort tickled. This was a window but why would it not yield my escape?

I froze when a dark shape flitted across the window. A flapping shape that I knew to be a bird. _Prey - food._ I lowered my front and head to my paws and stared as it flitted away and it was gone. Another came into view and it too flitted away. I tried jumping to catch it but the thing that wasn’t there stopped me again.

With meowing grumbles I turned away and huffed. My tails puffed out in anger as I explored the room whilst checking the door.

The lumpy piles were soft and I found many hidden tunnels beneath them, dark and light and in an array of vibrant colors. Heat was trapped beneath them and I found myself nappng amongst them only to awake at the shrill sounds from below. I darted out and into the shadows of my hiding place and waited.

There were wooden structures here and dark black things and strange squares and rectangles that shone like water but was solid. I sniffed and they held no scent.

I circled the room all throughout the day and found more hiding spots, dark corners to abscond myself into should the horned two legged beings come back.

I tried the window several times, especially as the prey flitted by. Damned things were too far and moved freely. I couldn’t reach them.

I wondered what I would eat. There was no scent of prey here besides the bugs and tiny things.  I hunted those in excess, using my claws and teeth to still them.

I fell asleep amidst the lumpy pile again and only woke when the panel - _door_ \- creaked open and something was set on the floor. It was sweet. I could smell it from within the pile and peered out, careful as the tiny one carefully blocked the only exit but set two flat circular things on the floor by the door.

I glowered and backed away and out.  At least until it picked up a small piece of something and rubbed it.

The scent was sweet and tickled my nose pleasant. It tingled and warmed me. It drew me out of the blankets and I stared. It was familiar. A faint _faint_ memory came. Of when I once was a two legged being standing over a four legged cat and holding a piece of dried plant.

_“Sit.”_

I stilled and glared at the small horned being who was smiling, flashing those flat and sharp teeth. It rubbed the plant and released more of the sweet scent and then threw a tiny morsel of fish near me.

“ _Good kitty.”_ My old self’s words said to the cat as the cat sat far below me. The ensuing treat dropped and the cat purred as my old nub like paws pet the cat.

All at once I remembered what this was. It was trying to train me.

It was working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while since i updated this one. But I'm in a kitty mode! Also serious qunlat mode too. Have some more baby Iron Bull


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